So, I may or may not sometimes give in to the urge to check my reviews on Made to Last. I know, everyone says you shouldn’t. But if this is the most rebellious I get in life, I guess I’m doing okay.

Anyway, on a recent review-reading internet outing, I discovered that if you type in Made to Last in Amazon’s search, you get some truly awesome (or awful, all depends on your perspective) results. Just in case you already have MTL and you’re looking for some other item on which to spend your hard-earned cash (or you’d simply like a Friday laugh), I thought I’d give you a little preview of the goods available:

Clarks: Made to Last: The Story of Britain’s Best-Known Shoe Firm

I would potentially read this book solely because of the double-colons in the title. (Okay, to be fair, the double-colons don’t actually appear on the book cover, but that’s how it’s written on Amazon.) I used to walk past a Clark’s store on Victoria Street during my time in London. So, there’s a fair bit of nostalgia there and I probably need to buy this.

(In all seriousness, though, I read the premise and this book actually sounds really interesting. Apparently Clarks is family-owned and has Quaker origins. The brothers who started it would make slippers out of rug scraps in the 1800s. There’s probably some cool history there.)

Wood 7.75″ Manual Tortilla Maker Press Wooden Handle and Body Simple Design Built to Last MADE IN China.

A tortilla maker! I really like how the description for this product says: “Easy to use, even the kids can make their own tortillas.” Translation: Not even Melissa Tagg can mess this one up. OH and I love this line from the one-star review this product received: “Broke during the first use. I purchased because I thought this had to be better than the one I built myself.” Look, anybody who has the drive to build their OWN tortilla-maker is going to be disappointed by a purchased product.

Made to Last album by Joey + Rory 

I have no idea who Joey + Rory are and I’ve never heard their music. For all I know, it’s amazing. What I do know is this: As soon as I saw their band name, I had this sudden merging in my head of Joey from Friends and Rory from Gilmore Girls and it was weird. But then I thought about how neither one of them actually had a significant other when the series (serieses?) ended so, you know, maybe it could work. (Except NO…Rory belonged with Jess. I will never get over this.)

Sycamore Row by John Grisham and A Dance with Dragons by George R. R. Martin

I’m getting to share Amazon space with Grisham and Martin. Boo. Yah.

How I Made Over $1 Million Using The Law of Attraction: The Last Law of Attraction, How-To, Or Self-Help Book You Will Ever Need To Read (Law of Attraction Series)

If that insanely long title alone isn’t enough to make you want to read this book, check out a portion of the description:

It’s finally time to have a truly AMAZING life! The life that you dream about having. The life that you deserve, and the things you want in that life.

This book was written for YOU!
It’s simple.
It’s clear.
It’s what You need!

If the guy didn’t already have me at $1 Million…

Romantic Lavendar Rose in a Cube – Preserved to Last

I really do not know why this one was so funny to me. Maybe it’s the fact that “lavender” is spelled wrong in the title. Maybe it’s the masterpiece of incorrect overstatement that is this product description’s first line: “There is nothing that expresses love like a rose.” Really? Nothing?

Regardless, I could NOT stop giggling when I saw this. You have to go in about three pages deep before you get to this little gem, but it’s worth it. The title says it all—it’s a preserved rose in a cube. According to the description, “lavender roses can offer a daily reminder of your love and eagerness to grow your relationship.” There you go. Why talk about these things when you can give someone a rose in cube?

(Is it weird that I find this more funny than romantic? Is my romance radar totally off?)

Single Hook & Eye for Dresses, Slacks…The Original Pants Extender … Add an Inch of COMFORT to Your Slacks Jeans or Skirts. INSTANTLY! Breathe Easy..Increase your waistline a whole size in just seconds! Why Spend $25.00 or more on new clothes when you just need that extra inch ? As Seen On “Live with Regis & Kathie Lee” & ABC’s “Why didn’t I think of that?” & Eyewitness News as ” The best invention of the year”..DON’T BE FOOLED BY CHEAP IMITATIONS…Dieting? Wear the Pants Extender until you drop the weight. They’re ideal for Moms-to-be and for kids who are growing like weeds. PANTS EXTENDER are made in various styles and fabrics to accomodate all types of clothing. Clothes last longer, and fit better. A WARDROBE MUST!

UM…YEAH that is the full Amazon title. I don’t even have anything else to say about this one. Nothing.

I’m really just grazing the edges of the awesome finds you can discover when you search for Made to Last on Amazon. And for the record, this exercise was almost as entertaining on Goodreads. The top three search results (other than my book) for Made to Last there?

The Walking Dead, Vol. 8: Made to Suffer 

Fermat’s Enigma: The Epic Quest to Solve the World’s Greatest Mathematical Problem 

Last Train to Deadsville

I really can’t tell you how well those three titles jive for me—suffering, math and Deadsville. You can’t get more fitting.

Nor can you make this stuff up. Thank you, internet. Thank you.

So which of the top items would you be most likely to purchase? Happy Weekend, everyone. 🙂

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