Sometimes I think God must think, “Oh, seriously, Melissa, shut up.”
Then I remember he’s way nicer than that. And for all His power and might, He’s gentle, too. Remember that time He came as a whisper instead of the wind or fire or earthquake?
So He probably says, “Hush,” instead.
Pretty sure He said that to me the other day.
I started reading Extravagant Worship by Darlene Zschech. (Yes, I had to look at the book four times to make sure I spelled that right!)
My mom got me interested in the book when she called me a couple weeks ago to read a few paragraphs to me. She’d read a section that made her think of me…so as I sat in my car in the parking lot of Wal-Mart, she read and I teared up and as soon as I got home Amazon.com and I spent a little time together. 🙂
A few days later, UPS brought me the book and I started reading.
And let me tell you, I became a highlighter person. Usually I’m cool with underlining…pencil or pen, either works. (I apologize, although not very sincerely, to all the don’t-write-in-books people who want to slap my hand right now.) But when I opened this book, I just knew I needed the big guns. Er, markers.
I highlighted right and left. This book is awesome. But I’ll tell ya, I got to the end of that first chapter and had a minor moment of panic. You see, I want to be an extravagant worshipper. I want to do all the things Darlene says in that first chapter about praising and living a life completely surrendered to God. My problem: Darlene didn’t give a checklist.
I like checklists. I like checklists like I like mini Cadbury eggs…which the empty purple bag in my trash will tell you is A LOT. Who’s with me here? Do you work best from lists, too?
No list in the book. No set of clear to-dos.
And so I started praying, asking God what it would look like for me to be an extravagant worshipper. Should I give up writing for awhile? After all, that’s one of the greatest time-hoarders in my life. But how could I do that? What about all the writing-related commitments I’ve already made? Okay, maybe instead I should never watch TV again. Not that I watch much now, actually. So probably that’s not the key. Am I attending the right church? Should I pray more? Oh, shoot, I stopped keeping a prayer journal. Should I start that?
For a good while, I sat there zipping through ideas, potential should-dos and honestly got a little frustrated. I’m certain I even said something like this: “Dude, God, I’m wanting to do the right thing there, trying to be the girl you want me to be. So could you chime in with some confirmation?”
And that’s when I think He probably rolled His eyes and said the kind version of “Shut up.”
God is amazing and attentive and I love how He truly does answer us when we come to Him. Not always right away, but in this instance, it was immediate…and pretty darn clear:
Hush, Melissa. Stop worrying about what you’re supposed to do. Don’t you think I’m faithful to show you what to do each day? Don’t you think that’s why I’ve given you my Holy Spirit? You don’t need a plan to be come an extravagant worshipper. You just need Me. And when you’ve got Me filling every little piece of you, you won’t be able to help but worship me. Trust Me.
And then He reminded me of something I’d just read:
The only thing God wants from you is your heart. God says, “I don’t need your talent. I don’t need your gift. I don’t want all the stuff that you can do. I just want you. I want your heart.” (p.46)
He doesn’t need my plan.
He just wants my heart.
He just wants your heart.
How about you? Do you ever actually stress out about obeying God…knowing you want to do something or be a certain way, but not knowing how to get there? I’ve heard it said that God wants our “Who” not our “Do.” 🙂 What’s that mean to you? How do we give Him our heart?
Comments 16
Beautiful post, makes me want to read the book! I think when giving God our heart is saying, “I’ll be obedient to whatever you ask, when you ask even if it’s hard. Even if I’m scared. Even if I don’t really want to…because I love You. I need You. I want to please You.” And then hush and see what He’s asking. Sometimes it’s as simple as smiling at woman in a grocery line when you’d rather frown because she’s using 9 bajillion coupons and sometimes it’s taking on a task at church that isn’t appealing.
Love this post, friend! I also love Cadbury eggs!
The “hush and see what He’s asking” is always the hardest for me. And, I laughed out loud at the part about smiling at the woman using 9 bajillion coupons! 🙂 I have a similar struggle when I’m behind people in the express line with 40 items! Sometimes I console myself by thinking maybe they can’t read…or they’re taking their groceries to someone who’s starving…
Great post. Sounds like you got right to the “heart” of things.
Each day is it’s own. It’s amazing what we hear if we listen.
I read Darlene’s, Kiss of Heaven. I’ll have to check this new one out.
Thanks for sharing!
I ordered Kiss of Heaven, too!! Can’t wait to read it!
MTagg, I appreciate so many parts of this, &, yes, I know I make God laugh–and then I laugh and lighten up and learn.
I extravagantly told him once I never wanted to fail Him, only wanted to bless Him, give out, not take in, be like a green oxygen-producing plants in the hydro-carbon cycle. His perfect squelch answer: “That’s easy, quit breathing!”
That’s hilarious, Delores…it’s comforting, actually, to know God isn’t surprised when we fail. Nor does he brush us off when that happens.
I do the same thing as you when I read amazing books like that! And then I panic because I won’t be able to follow through.
After recently reading an awesome post on Stuff Christians Like (#1183. The best thing I’ve learned on the road this year), I’ve started telling myself that it’s God’s problem to help me figure out what He wants from me. It’s His problem to make me into the girl He wants me to be. Giving Him our hearts can be problematic. My job is to wait expectantly for the results of His problem-solving skills. It has sorta been rocking my world.
P.S. I’m excited to discover other Cadbury Egg fanatics 🙂
Yes, that’s exactly what I do! I read it…it’s amazing…and then I worry that I won’t live it out.
I love SCL! So much laughter…and so much truth in those Serious Wednesday posts.
And oh yes, Cadbury…mmm..one of my great regrets in life is that I didn’t visit the Cadbury World when I studied in England!
I love this. I’m a planner (I think I like to plan things more than I like “doing” things). This is such a great lesson!
Oh, I hear ya. I loooove to plan books but I always get to this point where I realize, dude, I have to actually write the thing now. 🙂
What a great post! I used to be a HUGE worrier, and my husband (and before we were married, too) would just say, “Give it to God! Cast all your cares on Him!” And I’d just hate him for those “canned” answers. Don’t tell me that unless you’re going to give me step-by-step instructions. Because I can be dense, y’all!
It ended up just being baby steps of trusting – a little here, a little there. Now, I’m using the same approach with growing closer to Him. Each decision I make, each day I start with Him, gets me closer to my goal. I don’t think He’ll ever be finished with me!
I love how you said it starts with baby steps. Each time we see God faithful in our little seeds of faith, we’ll learn to trust more and more. So cool!
And oh, I laughed about what you said about your husband giving you canned answers. Heheh!
I tracked with you on this, M-Tagg. The whole, “just tell me what to do,” thing? Oh, yeah … I get that. The lists … yeah, I get that too.
I’ve never heard the phrase, “God wants our ‘Who’ not our “Do.'”
But, oh, I like that one too.
You know what’s funny, Beth? I’ve been reading your book this weekend and there’s this spot where Allison says something like “C’mon God, join the conversation.” So similar to what I was feeling in my moments of “I need a checklist here, God” earlier this week. 🙂 I love that God stepped in and basically said, “You’re going to have to get over that, kid, ’cause I don’t always work that way.”
Melissa, I keep seeing your name all over, so I thought I’d check out your blog and what a great day to do it! I loved your post – my mom also loves Darlene Z. and I’m surprised she hasn’t found her book, yet (I’ll have to let her know).
I love how God answers our questions and I love how gentle He is with us when what we really need is a “Shut Your Mouth and Listen to Me!” answer. I do exactly what you do when my heart is being convicted to do something – I search through all the possibilities and anxiously wonder which one to follow, when all along God has gently laid out the answer before me each day. What an awesome God we serve!
I am looking forward to following your blog. 🙂
Gabrielle, so nice to “meet” you. 🙂 You’re so right – God is so awesome. 🙂 Okay, now I’m going to check out your blog. 🙂