I got really sick last week. I’m kind of still sick now as I’m typing this. There’s been a LOT of cough medicine consumption. The result is this post. I’m…sorry.
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If a person is going to have a blog, she should use said blog to benefit humanity, yeah? Well, today I’m using my blog to educate the general public about how to handle late-summer illness. In my case, this sickness feels like a mix of strep throat and mono and bronchitis with a hint of a really bad cold.
It’s lovely.
But, I’ve found some wonderful ways to cope in the past week. So I thought I’d share just in case anyone else ends up with strep-mono-bronchi-monster-cold. I’ve even got a snazzy pie chart as an illustration. The pie chart should suffice, but supplementary explanation is provided below. Enjoy!
I’m sorry, it probably would’ve been good to do a better job cleaning off my big white board before making this chart. But come on, I’m sick!
How to Combat Late Summer Sickness
1. Binge-napping. Binge-napping is actually my solution for a lot of things, not only sickness. It also works when you’re a) sad, b) bored (caveat: Maybe don’t take my word on that one, because I don’t even know what bored feels like), c) facing a deadline and feeling masochistic or d) simply tired.
2. Writing songs about NyQuil. I wrote my song to the tune of Hey Jude. I’m not even joking. Here’s how it starts:
NyQuil.
I love you still.
You are better than any stupid pill.
And that’s as far as I got because said NyQuil kicked in at that point.
3. Tracing the pattern on your bedsheet. This is actually a leftover coping mechanism from my youth. When I was a little kid, I had this star-patterned wallpaper on my bedroom walls and I have really clear memories of laying in bed tracing the pattern and making up constellations. But I don’t have wallpaper in my current bedroom, so I have to make do with the stripey pattern on my sheets.
4. Marathon viewings of Parks & Rec. And trying to decide between Ron Swanson, Andy Dwyer and Chris Traeger as my favorite character. They’re all so hilarious. And then there’s Tom Haverford who is pathetically awesome. Or maybe my real favorite character is Bert Macklin—a character within a character. These are huge decisions.
In addition to the awesome male characters of Parks & Rec, Leslie Knope does such a good and slightly hyperbolic job of summing up how I’ve felt for the past week.
5. Catching up on emails. You know, in an effort to feel productive.
6. Taking bubble baths. And then getting so hot and lightheaded that I promptly pass out while still in my robe. It’s actually a lovely way to pass out…as long as you make it to your bed first.
7. Going to the store for medicine. True story: I went to the store looking like death, but I was wearing a Coldplay t-shirt. And the checker noticed and proceeded to tell me how one of her best friends actually knows the members of Coldplay and has met all of them and is also friends with Gwyneth Paltrow and how awkward that is now. And I’m thinking, Any other day this would be an awesome conversation, but can’t you see that I look like Gilbert Blythe in that scene in Anne of Avonlea where he’s dying from Scarlet Fever?
Oh my goodness, I love this scene so much.
p.s. Any other fans of that movie ever think about how craaaazy huge Anne’s hair is in that scene??
8. Making ridiculous pie charts. Never waste any experience, I always say. Actually I think this is the first time I’ve ever said that. But still.
Comments 24
I hope you’re better now! 🙂
In this post you’re pretty much describing my life THIS Monday with a “summer cold” that feels like, yes, mono – I thought I was imagining that but maybe not if someone else thought it too! My life today is all about napping, drinking tea and reading all the old school stories I loved when I was a teenager. Oh … and reading blogs. I probably should write something on my blog too too. Maybe later …
Thanks for helping me to see the funny side of this monster of a “summer cold”! 🙂
Author
Oh sorry you’ve got a cold, Elisabeth. Summer colds are no fun at all. Not that winter colds are any better. LOL! Anyway, I hope all the napping and tea drinking and reading of old-school stories helped you feel better. 🙂
BOO for sick times but YEAH for pie charts.
My binge napping slice would have been much larger!
I think you need some REAL pie instead, though. 🙂 Pie makes everything a little better. And Dr. Pepper.
Praying you have a miraculous recovery this morning and are in tip-tip shape!!!
Author
Yeah, I don’t think I did a very good job drawing that pie chart to scale. Truthfully, about 3/4 of it should’ve been binge napping.
In place of pie and Dr. Pepper, how about Diet Coke with Lime and candy corn? Because I did indeed eat and drink those in an effort to feel better.
Oh, so sorry you’ve been sick. There.Is.Nothing.Worse.Than.A.Summer.Cold. And my binge napping slice would’ve been much bigger, too.
Author
Agreed, Pat!
Hope you are feeling better! I got stuck on the picture of Anne for several seconds thinking “wow! I don’t remember her hair being THAT big!!!” Then I saw your caption of the photo 🙂
Author
She does have SUCH huge hair at the end of that movie! I’m feeling a little better today…yay!
Things I love from this blog post:
~the use of the word “snazzy”
~the pie chart
~tracing patterns as coping mechanism (me too! Sort of…I write words with my finger on my hand or sheets or thigh or whatever)
Things I dislike about this blog post:
~you being really sick
Hope you’re on the mend soon!!
Author
Getting there, Lisa. Getting there. 🙂
Love that you write words with your finger. LOL!
Melissa, I’m so sorry you’re sick! Even when you’re puny, you manage to brighten our day! If you lived closer, I’d:
* Bring all my favorite classic movies (Yay!!)
* Bring you homemade chicken and noodles. (Yum!!) And big, fat buttery cloverleaf rolls. And chocolate pie.
* Bring awesome mood music so you could pretend you were on a cruise instead of in a bubble bath (although those are divine!)
* Bring you a (((HUG)))!! (Would it be bad if I wore a mask though?) 🙂
Praying for you to get well soon!
Author
Awww thank you for all the things you’d do if you lived closer! And for the prayer, too. 🙂
Feel better, Melissa. :/
On a happier note… yes! That scene with Anne and Gilbert… *swoon* Love it. So. Much. 🙂
Author
Oh I love that scene, too! As soon as I wrote that line in the blog post, I got a huge urge to watch the movie. One of my favorites, for sure.
Hi Melissa!
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been sick! Your description of it sounds horrible! I hope you feel better soon.
And oh-my-goodness! I love your pie chart! It would have been so useful a couple winters ago when I was sick 4 times in a row – seriously, I was sick from the middle of February to the end of March. Fortunately, I did get about a week total in there where I wasn’t sick. 🙂
I think I’m going to have to get a subscription to Netflix so I can watch all these movies you talk about. I haven’t seen any of them, yet. Actually, I rescind that – I did see the beginning of Gone with the Wind. I’m not much a of TV watcher and couldn’t bear the thought of sitting there for 3 1/2 hours, so I didn’t finish it. But, I can sit and read a book for 4, 5 hours at a time. LOL Didn’t say it made sense. 🙂
Hope this week is better than the previous (sickness wise)!
~Sarah
Author
Ooh, sick four times in a row from Feb-March–that’d be awful! I bet you were glad when that was all over.
I loooove Gone with the Wind, but it is awfully long and truth be told, I know lots of people who don’t like it. A lot of people don’t like the main character or the ending. But I adore it. However, I understand your being able to read a book for 4-5 hours versus TV. Reading…it’s awesome. 🙂
I feel your pain, Melissa! That’s exactly how I felt in the weeks leading up to our retreat. Hope you’re feeling better soon.
I’m happy to see your illness hasn’t robbed your sense of humor. 🙂 I especially like your picture of Gilbert and Anne–I totally get big hair problems. 🙂
Wish we were closer, so I could bring you chicken soup and warm chocolate chip cookies.
Author
I’m so glad you were well in time for the retreat, Gabe. Man, those days up in Minnesota were soooo wonderful (and soooo needed on my end, that’s for sure).
As for big hair, you have the best hair ever. And now I’m thinking of that one picture…and laughing…and it’s a hilarious sounding laugh because I don’t fully have my normal voice back. 🙂
Oh no! Hope you’re feeling all better soon!
Author
I’m feeling quite a bit better today finally. YAY! 🙂
Ha Ha! I love your post. Seems like you still had your sense of humor while you were sick! I hope you are doing much better now.
Author
Thanks, Kaela! I figure the best way to combat stupid sickness is to get a blog post out of it. 🙂 I am doing much better now…yay!
Hope you’re feeling better. My 21 year old son said it’s going around at his college, and he’s got it now. He even drove home at 1:00 AM to see what meds we had and spent the night. This is the same kid I threatened to come home for Thanksgiving his freshmen year, so I know he’s sick.
Take care!
Author
Oh poor guy. I hope he gets well soon!