This post is part of a series on bravery I started a couple months ago…you can read earlier bravery posts here.
Yes, we are related. Yes, I am looking at the wrong camera.
So I basically have the coolest siblings in the ENTIRE world. It’s incredibly rare that we’re all four home at the same time, but a couple weeks back, we all found ourselves in good old Webster City, Iowa, at our parents’ house.
It was Saturday evening and we sat around the dining room table with Mom and Dad, just the six of us, just like old times. I remember looking toward the sunroom, out its windows to where autumn lit the ravine out back into a firestorm of colors…crazy bright yellows and oranges and reds. And I remember thinking, Man, tonight is perfect.
Which isn’t at all the point of this post, but I’m caught up in thinking about how great my family is as I type this and I can’t help saying it: I LOVE them.
*****
So we’re in the dining room and eventually my parents get up to clear the table. I don’t know why none of us “kids” get up to assist. I mean, normally at least one of us would think to be helpful and then more than likely the rest would follow suit.
But no, tonight we stay in our seats (sorry, Mom and Dad!) and we chat and at some point, my sister and I start quoting Parks & Rec and I make mention of the episode in which Pistol Pete Disellio tries to dunk a basketball…only problem is he’s on a hockey rink instead of a basketball court and things don’t go so well.
So that leads us into talking about the real Pistol Pete Maravich…
Which leads us into talking about how everyone used to say our dad looks like John Stockton…
And man don’t all those Spurs guys seem nice…
And remember Steve Kerr? (my sister loved him)…
And Karl Malone (I loved him)…
And eventually we get to Michael Jordan. Which is where the conversation gets really fun. Because at some point, we start remembering how he played baseball for awhile after retiring from basketball (um, the first time). And we talk about how much flack he took at first for making that decision. And we spend like fifteen minutes defending the man, our voices raising the whole time…
Until suddenly we pause and all four of us realize how much time we’ve just spent arguing with no one in particular—just voices from the past, I guess—defending a decision made twenty years ago by a guy we’ve never met. And we burst into laughter.
*****
You’re mean, Sports Illustrated!
I don’t know why, but I kept thinking about Michael Jordan after that conversation. I kept thinking about what it would feel like to go from being what most people consider the greatest-ever at one sport…to playing one you haven’t since high school, at which you may or may not excel anymore. I mean, it’s not like he could just quietly transition. He couldn’t sneak his way in.
If he seriously wanted to pursue baseball, his only option was to do it under a spotlight bigger than most of us can imagine. He’d fail or succeed in the public eye.
Slight (or maybe not so slight) nerd that I am, when I was still thinking about this days later, I started Googling and reading random articles about Jordan. And I came across an excerpt from a book that released just this past May—Michael Jordan: The Life—and the excerpt was all about his brief foray into baseball.
This paragraph stood out to me:
“After years as the alpha male in basketball, as Phil Jackson liked to call him, here he was just hoping to make the team…His new teammates did have to concede at least one thing: The dude was not afraid to look bad.”
And also this, a quote from Sonny Vaccaro, who used to work for Nike and first signed Michael Jordan to the company:
“It took a lot of guts to go play baseball and run the risk of failure after being incredibly successful at something else. But Michael is fearless.”
*****
Here’s a little secret about me: Rom-com isn’t the only thing I want to write.
And writing isn’t the only thing I want to do.
I’ve got some other hopes tucked away. Some untested maybe-just-maybe sort of dreams.
And if you asked me why I haven’t branched out into some of these other things, I would probably laugh and say something about how two full-time careers tend to keep me busy enough, thank you very much.
But the truth is, sometimes (read: mostly always) I like the safety of what I know I can do. Or what I’ve already done.
Safe success is what it is. And it’s easy to just camp out there, even if it’s only mild success.
But what if I didn’t care about looking bad?
What if I wrote that other thing (that I really have no idea how to write) without worrying about whether anyone else thinks it’s awesome?
What if I took little steps toward those other dreams even with no guarantees anything will come of them?
What if I traded a fear of failure for the kind of bravery that says “I’ll never know unless I try”?
Because let’s face it, there are never going to be as many eyes on me as were on Michael Jordan when he left a sport he was great at for one he might not even be good at. If he can make a massive move with a bazillion people watching…I should probably be able to tiptoe toward my own version of a baseball dream.
And I think maybe at the end of the day, that decision to stop fearing failure is just that…a decision.
And bravery is a choice.
Although, for the record, my other dreams have nothing to do with baseball. I get really scared when things come flying at my face…
Comments 14
As I sit here pondering your question instead of working on my first draft, I realize I don’t have any secret ambitions any more, not since I living my dream (nightmare when the first draft isn’t working). One thing I might do is take voice lessons so I wouldn’t sound so Barney Fife-ish. Now back to that first draft…
Author
I love that you are living your dream, Pat. And holy cow are you LIVING it!! I’ve got your latest book on my bookshelf waiting to be read. Can’t wait!
Okay, had to life when I saw Pat was the only other commenter so far…both of us clearly procrastinating. High-five, Pat!
I admit I don’t follow sports much. Had no idea who you were talking about through most of this blog. I do know Michael Jordan, but never knew he’d played baseball, too. Of course, when the sports comes on on the news is my cue to get started on dishes or something. 😀 But you’ve inspired be to dig into that first draft and not worry about it being bad…at least until I’m ready to revise it. 😉
Author
YAY for procrastinating. 🙂
Digging into first drafts can be so intimidating. Rewriting is my sweet spot, but drafting…it’s definitely a lesson in mental bravery, that’s for sure.
This was me when I decided to actually call myself a “writer”, open my blog, sign up for ACFW, pursue an agent, publication, put my work…myself…out there. To me failure became synonymous with NOT TRYING. Do I like rejection? No. Am I happy when not everyone loves me, uh, no:) But I realized so many of those things are up to God and if I want to be where He created me to be, I have to step out of my comfort zone. What’s the worst that can happen? I fail by the world’s standard, but in stepping out in faith, I’ve won in His eyes and that’s all that I’m counting anymore. (even if I do quake in my boots still at times;) )
Author
I definitely hear you there, Susan. I’ve been saying I want to write books as long as I can remember, but that moment when I actually went for it–starting blogging and going to retreats and learning the craft–it became very real…and intimidating. Because as long as I was just talking about it, I couldn’t fail. Once I went for it, that stupid fear of failure kicked in big time…and it still loves to nag me.
But I love what you said–that if we’ve stepped out in faith, we’ve already won in the eyes of God. And that’s the most important thing.
Great post, Melissa.
“Bravery is a choice.” but as Brene Brown says it’s okay to be fearful when being brave (or something along those lines). Jordan has one of those great quotes about failure: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Failure is a word we don’t like to associate with – but we learn so much through it. Isn’t it one of the keys to faith: learning to let go of ourselves so we can fully grab hold on Jesus?
Melissa, sorry I’m rambling. You’re brave every time you put a blog post out into the ether as you give a little of yourself. And that’s just the start, heck how many manuscripts have you written now?
Be assured with that wonderful family of yours and your mob of friends not to mention fans, followers and readers you’ve got a pretty big cheer squad who will be standing alongside you whatever ‘brave’ step you take.
Author
Thank you for rambling, Ian!! I appreciate it so much, as well as the encouragement you always bring. You rock!
And I agree with you and Brene Brown…it IS okay to be scared while doing brave things. I think for me, it’s when I realize I’m letting fear of failure keep me from stepping out and doing that brave thing. The fear isn’t necessarily the bad thing…it’s what I do with it.
And I love what you said about failure, too! We learn from it and grow from it and sometimes the most amazing things in our lives sprout from it. It can be an awesome prompt, actually…pushing us into what’s next. As much as I hate the idea of it, I really don’t want to let it or the fear of it keep me from taking risks and trying new things.
Great post, and great timing. I had finally talked myself into trying nanowrimo, and woke up this morning thinking there’s just no way. Why bother trying something when I’m so obviously going to fail? But you’re so right! Thanks for that.
Author
Oh yay, I’m glad this was good timing, Michelle! And I hope NaNo goes incredibly well for you. I will admit, I attempted it one year and quit about a week in. The pressure of keeping daily word counts just didn’t work for me and my personality, but I know for so many people it’s the perfect motivator. So if you go for it, I hope you’re wildly successful! 🙂
I have to say my dream lurking in the background will most likely always stay there. I wanted to go into Interior design, instead I went the exact opposite direction and became a accountant. Now years later I am a stay and home mom with no intention of going back to school. When I was working I sometimes regretted my choice, but at the time it seemed the smartest and safest choice. It is so easy to stay safe! I just hope to teach my kids to go for the hard, scary goals instead of staying safe.
Author
Well, Becky, maybe there will come a day when your kids are grown and you have the freedom to pursue that lurking dream. But I think there’s also peace and freedom that comes in saying, “This is where I am right now and I think maybe it’s where I’m supposed to be, even if there have been some unfulfilled desires along the way.” Sacrificing your own desires for your kids is, I think, just as brave as pursuing other dreams. That said, maybe there are little ways you can live out that interior design dream right now…maybe you will have opportunities to redecorate rooms in your house or help friends who are decorating or renovating…I bet there are ways to fulfill that creative side of you other than going back to school. 🙂
There is peace in saying, this is where I am. Oh, our room colors change often. Any time my hubby leaves on a business trip a room color has changed by the time he gets back.
Author
LOL! Love it. 🙂