Yesterday I had so much fun hanging out at the Writer’s Alley! Thanks bunches to Casey Herringshaw for inviting me. The Alley Cats have a stellar writing blog.
Also, today I’m guest posting at author Lisa Jordan’s blog! Lisa’s first book, Lakeside Reunion, came out last year and her second is slated for this August. Today I’m talking about romance and marriage on her blog…and choices.
Ever since I wrote that post for Lisa a couple days ago, I’ve been thinking about it. Specifically, about choices.
And no, not the choice as to whether to give in and drink a Diet Coke with Lime at 6:00 a.m. after already having finished off my morning coffee. Though, this is a choice I face most days. Like right now. And I’m soooo ready to cave.
But choices…in general.
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Let me back up for a sec and, um, confess something: I like to be in control. I like to make things happen. I like to have a plan, work the plan and see the desired results.
Who’s with me here? Any other slightly–okay, maybe certainly–headstrong gals out there? (Please, someone, raise your hand.)
Here’s where the grating starts: I’ve got two rather big dreams in my life. And though I can take steps toward those dreams, I can only walk so far…and then God has to carry me the rest of the way.
In other words, no control.
But…there’s something I do get to control: my choices.
I get to choose how I respond in each and every circumstance.
I get to choose how I react when someone hurts me or life doesn’t meet my expectations.
I get to choose to keep moving forward or fall back.
And once I choose to move forward, often, I get to choose how and when and in what mindset.
In a way, there’s always opportunity to feed that piece of me which needs control…or more than control, choices. There will always be choices. And while, yes, I absolutely turn to God for direction on what decisions to make, in the end, I choose.
I don’t know, there’s something kind of gratifying about that.
Seriously, it’s like God gave us the best of both worlds. He gave us free will, the ability to choose in all circumstances. Even when something beyond our control happens, we get to make a choice about our response. But he also gives us guidance, direction and the comfort in knowing we don’t have to make decisions alone.
There’s a verse I come back to all the the time: Whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it.” ~Isaiah 30:21.
See that? We’ve got a voice whispering direction…but we get the choice over whether and where to walk.
Is that thought comforting or eye-opening to anyone else? Are you someone who craves control or choices? I know in the end, faith is about surrendering all control to our awesome God. But is it gratifying to know, even in that, God gives us the ability to choose to give Him control?
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You are so wise, girl, and I am so impressed by you. I have always been a control girl, but over the past 5 years, God has allowed me to be put in a shaker, tumbled about, and dumped out on the ground. I have learned to rest in His love, no matter the circumstances. To let Him lead, let him guide, no matter the path…smooth or rocky.
The faith walk is an adventure and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Resting in His love, no matter the circumstances…that’s truly the best way to live life, isn’t it. And you’re right – what would faith be without the adventure?
Oh, and I love to drink a diet dr. pepper after I get my daily cup of coffee. 😉
Hehehe, so glad I’m not alone. I’m surrounded by so many non soda-drinkers in my life, that’s it good to have a pop-drinking friend. 🙂
Hand raised!
I love your perspective here. I’m a bit of a control freak too, and it gives me comfort to know I can trust my dreams with God. I don’t want to follow dreams if they’re not from him anyway.
And now I’m curious what your two big dreams are! So mysterious…
Hehe, my two dreams: Join the crew of a friendly pirate ship (you know, like one with Johnny Depp as the captain) and become the first female president.
J/K. Really, there’s nothing mysterious about my dreams. One is to be a career novelist and the other is to be a wife and mom. I’m convinced both are possible at once. 🙂
I’m guessing you won’t be surprised to know that we share the same dreams (the later dreams, not the pirate ship and president ones, lol). 🙂
Hehe, what, no plans to become president? Yes, I’m really not surprised to find our dreams our so similar! We were meant to be friends, I’m telling ya!
I love to control my choices. LOL
I’ve learned if I give all control to God, if I become Mary of Bethany and put myself at His feet…and listen, when it comes time to make choices, His wisdom gives me the right ones. It’s a beautiful thing!
So true. I sometimes feel like I have two opposing cravings in me – the side that wants to make my own choices and then the side that wants to be taken care of. And what’s cool is God makes room for both – he lets me make choices, but I’m never stuck to do it on my own.
Excellent, as always, Melissa. Sometimes it feels like we face too many choices–so wonderful to tune in and work through decisions with God.
Thanks, Dee! You’re right – there’s that other side of decision-making. I like to have choices and the opportunity to make a decision. Yet, sometimes life demands one decision after another…and if there are too many choices, making that decision is just plain hard. I love that God is always willing to be part of the process.
Jumping up and down, raising BOTH hands, because I am sooo this way.
Boy I love to have a plan or control over a situation and how I get there and what I do once I’m there.
But I LOVED what you said about dreams: we can take baby steps and trust God to carry us the rest of the way.
Yay, we’re twins, Casey! 🙂 But yeah, it is so good to know God’s always there to make things happen. 🙂
I’ve noticed more than one thing we have in common. 😉 Hope we can chat more the next time we are in the same place. :-))
I agree! Letting go…and letting God!
The most freedom I ever experienced was when I stopped fighting God about the truth — a very scary truth — and released control.
A-ma-zing freedom awaiting around the corner.
I never expected that.
Sooo cool, Beth. I love the feeling of freedom!
I am very independent (and yes, this is a different way to say I like to be in control :>))I was the person everyone else came to if they wanted something done. So it was hard for me to depend completely on God. Until I faced something I couldn’t control. I couldn’t change. Then I learned God was there, waiting to show me how to deal with it. And slowly, step by step, I’ve given God control of my life. Be published? Certainly…but in His timing, not mine. Get married again? Sure…if that’s His will for my life. I no longer kick against the goads. lol
Hehe, yes independence…that’s another word for it. I think it’s cool when God molds us into confident, stable, intelligent people – but people who are only that way because of Him. We can never stop depending on him. That’s the second our confidence or stability or intelligence crumbles…
No longer kicking against the goads…such a good thing!
Um yeah, I also belong to the Control Freaks Anonymous Club. I’ve been feeling more surrendered to God lately, but every once in a while, the need for control rears its ugly head again and I have to re-surrender.
Have a great weekend, Melissa!
So nice to meet so many people in the same club. 🙂 Have a great weekend, too!
I struggle with wanting to be in control. I blame it on being an oldest sibling. =) I’ve been learning to let go of my expectations and follow the Lord’s leading. Far more satisfying!
I’m an oldest sibling too! Surely that has something to do with it. 🙂
Both hands up here – and if I wasn’t raising them, Hubby would for me:) Marriage has taught me soooo much about giving up control. Hmmm..kinda like God had a plan there. I love that verse you shared. I’ve read it, but not really READ it before, you know? It’s going in my binder:)
Haha, the first line of your comment cracked me up. I bet marriage is one huge lesson in giving up control. 🙂
Love it! As I’ve grown up (and in my relationship with Him) I’ve stayed worried a lot about whether I was in His will. Eventually, I learned that if I give Him control, I always will be!
That’s such a good point, Melissa!