This photo really has nothing to do with today’s post. I considered trying to say something all metaphorical about winter and life and blah, blah, blah…but really, I’m just excited that we got our first snow in Des Moines this week. Moving on…(Photo credit.)
I originally titled this post, “The biggest lie Christians tell.” But I don’t like being provocative just for the sake of being provocative. And even more than that, I think most of the time when people say the following line, they don’t intend to lie. They simply mean to comfort. So I changed up my wording. The myth I’m talking about? This:
God will never give you more than you can handle.
I’m not the only who’s heard that line (or a variation of it) a thousand times, right? It’s sort of become a motto in Christian subculture. But a few years ago, it hit me: I don’t think it’s true.
Nowhere in the Bible does God promise something like that. I believe the verse that line grew out of is 1 Corinthians 10:13:
God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
That verse is talking about temptation…how there’s always a way out. That’s cool and awesome, yes. But it soooo isn’t saying that we’re never going to face more than we can handle.
The reason I’m even blogging about this is because of a status update I read on Facebook the other day. Someone made a remark about a negative circumstance and followed it up with, “Oh well, God doesn’t give me anything I can’t handle, right?”
And I so badly wanted to leave a comment saying, “Yes…yes I think maybe he does!” I should add, this wasn’t a dire circumstance the person was talking about. If it was, I hope my mental response wouldn’t be quite so flippant.
But seriously…God gives us things we can’t handle ALL the time. I’m not even necessarily just talking about difficult things–cancer, death, loss, rejection. I’m not a theologian and I have zero desire to get into an argument about whether God causes bad things to happen or just works through bad things or etc, etc, etc. (Though, it’s probably safe to bet he at least allows stuff. And I don’t for one second think he expects us to just “handle” those kinds of things.)
But I’m talking awesome things, too. Things like dreams that feel too big for us once they suddenly come true. Relationships with family and friends that make life so incredibly meaningful—but also come with challenges. The freedom we have to make decisions, to choose—but the weight that comes along with it when we’re not quite sure which way to go.
Really? None of those things, good or bad, are too big for me to handle?
Uh…I think they might all too big for me to handle. On my own, at least. I think those things are exactly why I need Christ. If God never gave me more than I could handle…I wouldn’t need him. I’d be self-sufficient all on my own.
If we really think about it, what’s meant to be a simple, comforting statement is actually an affront to one of the most wonderful truths about our God: That he’s our Helper. Our strength. He’s present and involved.
And that we’re never alone, never left to figure out or handle life and all its craziness by ourselves.
It’s a beautiful reality, actually, that it’s in the very things I can’t handle, all the stuff—good or bad—that adds up to “too much” that I most get to see God at work.
When my dream feels too big, I get to hear his whisper: Nothing is impossible with me. You’re not alone in this. Hold on, it’s going to be a great ride.
When life’s messes break my heart or will, and I feel like I’ve just shattered into too many tiny pieces, I get the comfort of knowing, deep down, there’s not a single fragment that falls out of his sight. And he’s faithful to put me back together.
When I’m at a major crossroads and I’m not sure which path to follow, I’m at least sure of this: I don’t have to figure it out on my own.
*****
Comments 34
Right on time, Melissa. I was literally, just a few minutes ago, mulling over something very similar. I lost a friend to cancer this week. The “Why?” questions can be such powerful tormentors. The devastation of loss & unanswered prayers can harden a sensitive heart with a shield of indifference. But I often think about what you shared today. We tend to engage life with an expectation that we’ll be spared from heartache. And when we’re not, man, does it rock our faith. Even though we’re told ahead of time to expect to face trial and tribulation. No question; it’s going to happen. “But take heart,” the bible says. And I think that’s where the two intersect. Yes, we’ll face more than we can handle. But, take heart; there’s still hope. And, I love the idea of applying this to the awesome things, too. Great insight.
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I’m so sorry about your friend, Crystal…which feels like a completely inadequate thing to say. But still…very sorry.
I love what you said about taking heart…and hope. Hope is an amazing thing…
Awesome, Melissa. Thank you for posting this. What happens when every dream and life goal you had is accomplished in one stunning night? So good, thanks.
Winning Operation First Novel, that is 🙂
Congratulations, Peter!!! Glad you have God to help ground you about now because I have a hunch your soaring somewhere in the ionosphere, which my science teacher hubby tells me is even higher than the stratosphere.
lol, that’s funny, Keli! Thanks!
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That had to have been such an exhilarating moment, Peter!
So well said, Melissa, and so very timely. Thank you for taking the time to write and share this.
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Thanks, Laura. And thanks too for sharing today’s post!
So good, Melissa!
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Thanks, Laura!
AMEN AMEN!!!
Funny…. when I saw your post title on Facebook, I thought… “I don’t know what SHE thinks the biggest myth is, but I know what it is. That God doesn’t give people more than they can handle.”
And low and behold, I click on over and great minds think alike:-) (probably another myth… ha!)
God gives us more than we can handle all the time–or maybe better said–allows things to happen that we are unable to handle all the time. 90% of my life the last 3-4 years I have NOT been able to handle.
And I’ve never relied more on God than I have these past years. Never had to trust Him as much, never had to lean on his strength as much.
I’ve never thought about “handling” the good stuff too!! Yes, LIFE is a crazy whirlwind and I can’t imagine handling any of it on my own!
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Haha, I love that you immediately went to the same place mentally as soon as you heard the word “myth.” Any time I hear you talk about your life the past few years, it reminds me of my sister and brother-in-law and their son. He’s the most amazing blessing ever, but like you, I think they’d say there’s no way they’d have handled these past year’s without God.
You are SO right, Melissa. And I feel so convicted because I have a sneaking suspicion (OK, it’s really a strong one, but that’s kinda hard to admit) that I’ve said this very thing to friends facing tough times. Thanks to your post, I won’t be caught uttering those words again. When I’m tempted to whip out the phrase as a quick-fix or cure-all panacea, I’ll ask the Lord to give me the words to express the real truth: He’s there for us in good times as well as bad. All we have to do is ask.
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Haha, well, Keli, I actually almost didn’t post this because I didn’t want to offend anybody who has said phrase often. 🙂 Like I said in the first paragraph, I don’t think anybody ever means it to be anything other than comforting…I think when we say it, a lot of times what we really mean is “It’s going to be okay. You’ll get through this.” But yeah, I can still remember sitting on my bed thinking about the actual wording of the phrase…and realizing, wow, it’s not really true at all, is it?
I used to say that. Then I realized I was wrong. Every day God gives me more than I can handle because He wants me to rely on Him. Love the verse…As the day, so shall your strength be.
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Cool verse, Pat!
Melissa, tremendous thoughts! I’m so glad you spoke to this. And I think you’re sooo right–and like you said, this is exactly why we NEED Christ! We weren’t meant to handle life on our own.
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Exactly…plus, I don’t know why we’d WANT to handle it on our own. If I really believe in God, and I believe He is who He says He is, why wouldn’t I want His input and guidance and presence, right?
I am SO with you on this (brilliant comments, here, too). We are constantly dealing with too much. I’ve mentally crawled into bed and shoved the covers over my head so many times, I couldn’t count. The effects of sin are too much to handle–for anyone. It’s by His grace we stay standing and keep breathing and muddle through. Thank you for putting this out there, Melissa!
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I agree, Jill, lots of brilliant comments today! Love that you brought grace into the conversation, too.
You read my mind. Seriously. I had this post planned for next week. I agree 100%!!
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Ooh, in that case, I’ll look forward to reading your post next week… 🙂
I think you nailed it. Amen! If we could handle it, why would we need Him? Love this so much, Tagg!
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Thanks, Jess!
I have to say that I agree with you, Melissa. Have you ever heard the song “Strong Enough” by Matthew West? The chorus says, “I know I’m not strong enough to be everything that I’m supposed to be, I give up, I’m not strong enough. Hands of mercy won’t you cover me, God right now I’m asking You to be strong enough, for the both of us.” I think we should change the saying to “God won’t give us more than we can handle with His help,” or something like that. I can speak from experience that God has definitely allowed me more than I can handle, but thankfully He didn’t leave me to handle it alone. He was my strength when I couldn’t walk another step. He picked me up and carried me most of the way.
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I like your revision to the saying. 🙂
I don’t think I’ve heard that song. I’ll have to check it out!
Great post-I completely agree! We have a sign above our door that says “God doesn’t give us what we can handle He helps us handle what we are given” and it always is a great reminder!
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I love that, Abbi!
100% truth, Girlfriend. If we can handle everything, why would we need God? Of course He gives us more than we can handle. In our weakness, we discover the beauty of His provision and necessity of His strength in all things. Hugs!
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Thanks, Donna. It really is a cool thing when we recognize God doing amazing stuff in the middle of our weakness. I interviewed an amazing man last week who is like the embodiment of that truth–that God’s awesomeness is so hugely displayed in our weakness. Kinda can’t get over it. 🙂
Love this, Melissa! Such truth. He doesn’t give us more than HE can handle. Because it’s in his strength that we do anything. You nailed it. We need him. Without him everything in life would be more than I could handle:)
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Ooh, I like your one-word switch to the saying which changes its whole meaning. 🙂
I agree with Susan. That is exactly what I was thinking. He doesn’t give us more than He can handle. I really think when many of my brothers and sisters in Christ say the other, they truly feel it is correct because they are “in Christ” which changes everything. But yes, sometimes we say or write things that maybe we need to word a bit more cautiously. I remember the time I pondered a line in a hymn beloved to many, “Not a sigh or a tear can abide when we trust and obey”, and I thought…hmm, really? Sometimes I have cried when I chose to forgive knowing it was an act of obedience even though the feelings were still raw. But,hey, this song was written by a man who never experienced womanhood, PMS, Postpartum Depression or menopause. Anyway, I would like to think that the older I get, I seem to be lightening up on some of that stuff and just choose to just be thankful and show grace to others knowing that there are times I will need the same. Thought provoking post Melissa. Thanks.