Ten tips to chase your dream {part 1}

silhouette of a young girl in a field, at sunrise with flying birds in the sky

Do you know what I just love? I love talking to dreamers.

And I randomly got to do so much of that last week! It’s like something was in the air. Questions from aspiring writers on Goodreads . . . a conversation with a stranger in Staples about his music aspirations . . . coffee with a friend who is working to define her own dream . . . a slew of Facebook messages, emails and voxes from author friends.

(Sidenote: YES. I’m on Voxer. Does this make up for the fact that I still don’t understand Snapchat? Does this make me hip? Is “hip” still a thing?)

So many cool conversations. So many cool people with cool dreams. So now this is on my heart and I can’t help sharing and so here we go. This post is for you if…

…you have a dream you’re dying to chase, but you just don’t know how to get started.
…you have a dream you’ve kept locked inside for way too long.
…you’ve tried going after a dream, but it was simply too overwhelming.
…your dream came true but soon after all the sparkle seeped out and now you’re starting over.

As is quite the norm for me, this got longer than intended. Stay tuned for Part 2 next week!

Ten Tips to Chase a Dream {part 1}

 

1. Tell someone.

The year: 2007. The place: Casey’s Bakery in Sioux Center, Iowa. I sat at a table with two friends, Mel and Ruby…and I told them about my dream. “I’m going to get serious about this writing thing. I’m going to write a book.” Oh, I’d been talking about writing books my whole life. From the time I was seven, I wrote stories of pioneers and orphans, and my parents and grandparents, bless them forever, were kind enough to read them.

But there was something about that day in 2007. That season in my life. Those friends. I don’t know if they even remember that lunchtime conversation! But man, I do. They heaped words of encouragement on me. I told another friend, Maggie, that same night and her affirmation was like hot chocolate and a fireplace and a cozy blanket–perfection. That Christmas, my friend Mel, gave me “the gift of time”–she gave me certificates I could redeem for laundry, cleaning, etc–chores she intended to complete for me so I could have time to write.

Tell someone your dream. Tell the right someone. It’s amazing what just saying the words out loud will do.

2. Take one simple step.

The thing about dreams is sometimes they’re just soooo big. And overwhelming. And we have a thousand and one voices in our head telling us what we need to do in order to accomplish them. It can get so very sticky and spider-web-y.

Which is why I think it’s smart to hold up for a moment. Stop reading all the books and blogs. Stop writing the forever-long to-do list. And just ask: “What’s one thing I can do right now?”

What’s one step I can take toward my dream this week?
Or this month?
Or this year?

For me, that one thing was a storycrafting retreat in Minnesota in 2009. I’d been fumbling through writing a book (one that will never–and I mean never!–see the light of day) and I knew I wasn’t getting anywhere. I decided to invest both time and money to learn from an expert, Susan May Warren. She has since become a friend and mentor and just one of my very favorite people. That retreat opened up a whole new world for me, one filled with learning and new friends and opportunities I never would’ve imagined.

What’s your one thing? Go do it! Plan it. Make it happen. And when that’s done, do the next thing.

Close up on a young woman's legs as she is walking in nature

3. Find a mentor.

Find someone who is a little or a lot further along the road than you and worm your way into his or her life. I’m totally serious. (Just, you know, try to do it without being creepy or stalkery.)

Thing is, the best writers and artists and professionals and parents and leaders are people who don’t just look forward to their next rung of success…they also look backward to the people climbing behind them. They are intentional about reaching out to help pull you forward.

Susan May Warren was that for me. And Rachel Hauck. And Beth Vogt.

Look for those people. Don’t stop until you find them. Wait for that spark of connection, of understanding. Ready yourself to listen and to learn.

4. Identify your lie.

We’ve all got one…or maybe more than one. It’s that voice in your head telling you…

…you’re not good enough
…everyone else is so much further ahead than you
…you don’t have time now
…you’ll never have time
…you’re nothing special
…your dream will never come true
…etc etc etc

I don’t know what your lie is. I do know what mine is. It’s ugly and it loves to sneak up on me at the worst times–when my defenses are down, when I’m already tired and discouraged.

But there’s power in identifying that lie. Because once you’ve identified it, you’ll recognize its hiss. You’ll learn to dig for truth, dredge it up out of you until it overshadows the lie. Some days it’ll be harder than others. Some days, you’ll give in to morose ease of sludging around in the lie. But on better days, on strong days, you’ll cling to the truth.

The truth that your dream matters. That you matter. That God wouldn’t have placed you on this road if he didn’t intend to walk alongside you. That wherever you are right now, there’s purpose and worth and belonging. That you are immensely loved. That you are capable of chasing this dream.

5. Feel.

Okay, this is a weird one, but I have to include it. Something I hear so often from dreamers: “I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

And you guys, every time I hear it, I just want to say, “WHY NOT?” Why not get your hopes up? This is your dream. This is the thing pulsing inside you, driving you, daring you to pour your heart into it.

Your dream deserves to be felt. Are there going to be disappointments along the way? Heck, yes. But we don’t grow by shielding ourselves from disappointment. We don’t mature by staunchly refusing to let ourselves hope.

Our character deepens when we learn to walk through disappointment. (Or confusion or pain or stress or any number of less-than-positive feelings we might experience while chasing our dreams.) It’s not about wallowing. It’s about acknowledging and processing, about being honest and vulnerable. It’s about feeling with grace.

Let yourself feel as you chase your dream. Feel the weight of your passion. Feel hope. Feel disappointment now and then and know that it’s normal. Feel discouragement and know that it’s temporary. Feel empty and know there’s a Person, a Peace you can turn to in order to be filled up again.

Feel all the breathless joy of doing what you were made to do.

*****

That’s Part 1. Part 2 coming next week. In the meantime…

Do you have a dream? I’d love to hear about it. Do any of the tips above resonate with you?

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    Comments 26

    1. Love! It is so easy to NOT pursue our dreams. I think a lot of it for me is lack of faith…I say I’ve got faith, but then I seriously don’t show it by not going after my dreams.

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    3. I too have a dream to write several books. This year I started a blog to get me writing and I started a notebook of story ideas. Now to dust off the dream and spend some time pursing it.
      I love this message of encouragement and direction.

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        Patti, starting a blog was a big part of my own writing journey! It was an awesome way to get me writing regularly, help me hone my author voice and connect me with other writers. I don’t blog as often now as I used to, but I still love this place for just letting my thoughts spill. Best wishes on your writing journey!

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    4. Oh my word. I was just sitting down to editing, procrastin-editing really, when Marisa sent me the link to this article and I figured, why not read it now? My heart is full and bolstered and the writing of these words is a conduit of God’s love I got to plug into–and will be rereading many times over. <3

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    5. I remember when I decided I wanted to be a writer, too. I’d been entertaining myself for a few weeks with stories when I couldn’t sleep and then one day I saw and ad for the Writer’s Digest magazine and I ordered it so I could learn how to write the stories in my head.

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    6. Wow. I really needed this. Seriously, best “God-timing” ever! I really want to pursue my dream for nature and wildlife photography, but in all honesty, I’m scared. Scared to try, because I’m scared that I’ll actually do well. And I don’t really know why I’m scared about that. I just am. And the fact that I don’t really know where to start. But your blog post definitely gave me some encouragement. So thank you, Melissa, for being so honest and for the much needed reminder that I’m not in this alone.

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        Hi Sarah! Thank you SO much for your comment. Nature and wildlife photography sounds like such a cool dream. I definitely understand, though, the fear of starting…and even worrying that you’ll do well! Because suddenly stepping into a dream, experiencing success…that means change. And change can be scary.

        And as for not knowing where to start, oh man, been there! Maybe it’s as simple as starting an Instagram account and committing to taking one nature photo a week…? Just a thought…

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    7. My father passed this post on to me because he’s been encouraging me to write a book since I was in elementary school. Your thoughtful words combined with his thoughtfulness really touched me! So… yes, yes, yes! This DID resonate with me 🙂 I think identifying my lie and finding a mentor will be the two critical components to turning my “dream” into a solid goal.

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        Hi Jana! I love that we have similar dreams that started when we were young. (And how sweet of your dad to pass this on to you!) That whole identifying your lie thing…it’s powerful. And as for finding a mentor, an awesome place to start is by getting involved in a writing organization or attending a writing retreat…but I’ve also heard of younger writers connecting with mentors simply by reaching out through email, blogs, facebook, etc. I think sometimes God sparks relationships in the coolest ways…for me, it was a weekend retreat in which I met an author who would turn out to be one of the biggest influences in my writing journey!

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    8. Wow, I literally wrote a journal entry about this a few days ago. I don’t think this could have been timed much better. 😉

      I used to shrug off dreams. I thought they were just too ‘worldly’ because of the big hype and fuss the world put on about them. Lately, though, I’ve come to realize that dreams can be something God gives us. They’re not selfish little desires or whims. (Some perhaps, but not the real ones.) It’s opened my mind up to life so much more with that mind set – that God can use our dreams to do miraculous things.
      In all honesty, I have almost got too many dreams. 😛 (Is that a thing? I hope not.) I dream about working at a cafe (yes, that’s something I’d actually love to do) and save up money so I can visit all of my darling friends overseas. I dream that perhaps someday I will write a book that may get published and will inspire and encourage hundreds or thousands of people. I dream that I can participate in musical theatre and have a leading roll and tour my country. They all feel like impossible ideas that will never happen. (And frankly, I don’t have much hope for that last one. Ha.) But I am nowhere near about to quit on my dreams. 🙂 I have them stored up within me, and everyday I try to work that little bit nearer towards getting them, even if that means concentrating on finishing school, writing stories in my spare time and performing little plays with my siblings in front of my parents. Dreams have a special place in my heart. 🙂 And as you said, I LOVE talking to fellow dreamers.

      This is a rather long comment. (I’m such a chatterbox.) Basically, I just wanted to say thank you so much for writing this!! I shall be reading it many times over. 🙂

      ~Miss Meg

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        “God can use our dreams to do miraculous things.” <--Yes!! That's it! I really, really believe that the dreams on our hearts--most of them anyway--come straight from God. And they may not end up playing out exactly as we expect...and there may be times when we sorta veer the wrong direction with them or our motivation gets out of whack. But at their core, deep down, I think they are desires that come from God because he wants to use us to a) love/honor/glorify him and b) reach lonely, hurting people. Honestly, every dream I can think of, at its best, accomplishes those two things. And so they are worthy things to chase! I'm so glad you're not going to quit! And that you have a LOT of dreams. Girl, I am right there with you. <3 <3 <3 Thanks so much for chatting. And just for the record, I LOVE long comments! 😀

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        1. Yes! Oh, it’s so refreshing to hear it so clearly from some one else. 🙂
          Thank you so much for the encouragement!
          Your comment made me day. 😀

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    10. Thank you for this post, Melissa! You made my day! 🙂 Sometimes I struggle with my fears and I always feel not good enough. These days it seems like having a dream is something preposterous, but your words were so inspiring! Thank you!

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        Hi Maria! Yay, I’m so glad the post made your day. That feeling of not feeling good enough…I cannot even tell you how often I experience that same thing! But God is so awesome about reminding me this dream–my whole life, really–is not about being “good enough.” It’s simply about being faithful…taking the gifts, dreams and desires he’s given me and using them as best I can. I don’t have to compare myself to anyone else. When I keep my focus there, it overshadows the lie of “not good enough” every time. 🙂

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    11. It’s late at night and I don’t have the words to express what I want to say — just, THANK YOU for writing this. It was a blessing to me. 🙂

      ~Emma

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    12. This needs to be posted to facebook. I have always been one who gets lost in the forrest when trying something new…. I need to learn to see a tree first ..so to speak.

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    13. I have some pretty large dreams of being able to show internationally with driving horses. Right now I’m in the very beginning of my journey, but with practice, hard work and faith it will someday be possible. Thank you for this great blog post 🙂

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