I need that mug’s sweater cozy!
Note: Every year around New Year’s, I take a day or two to reflect. To journal, think, pray, process, dream…all that lovely introspective stuff. This year was no different. It was wonderful, enlivening, refreshing, reviving. Most of what happened in my head and heart is just me and God sorta stuff. But some of it’s shareable and so here we go, an actual blog post! No one go into shock or anything… 🙂
I read a New Year’s post recently from a big-name non-fiction author about how to do more in 2017.
Before I say anything else, I need to note that I respect the heck out of this author. I’ve read multiple books by this person and one in particular was life changing for me. And all the tips the author provided in this particular blog post are pretty darn spot-on.
And yet.
Oh my goodness, friends. Reading that post…it made me feel tired. Like, tiiiiiired.
Don’t get me wrong: I’ve got nothing against goals. Or lists. Or plans. As someone who has always been a pretty avid dream-chaser, I’m generally on board for anything that might aid my pursuit. There’s just enough Type A in me that you can bet I’ve listed out some goals and plans for this coming year!
And yet.
I think it was those two words that made my lungs sorta clench: do more.
‘Cause here’s the thing: It’s hit me with such startling clarity recently that I don’t want my life to be about doing. I want it to be about being.
I know, I know, maybe it’s just semantics.
But then again, maybe it’s not. Maybe there’s a real difference. Because as I look back on seasons in my life in which I focused hard core on doing, on dreams I’ve chased, especially my writing dream…I realize how often I’ve simply felt, well, wiped out and behind. As if I was traveling a never-ending road on which the destination constantly kept zipping a couple miles forward. Reach one goal? Nice, but now there’s another around the next bend.
The truth is, when I’m focused on doing, I’m never satisfied.
When I’m focused on achieving, I’m never fulfilled.
When I’m focused on the next goal–and the next and the next and the next–I’m never fully present today.
Which is why I can’t help thinking I’d so much rather focus on who I’m meant to be in 2017 instead of just what I’m meant to do.
Honestly, I don’t really want to do more in 2017. I want to be more!
More brimming with love.
More overflowing with compassion.
More sensitive to the needs and hurts of the people around me.
Maybe a little more risk-taking, too. A little braver.
If I’m going to make a list, let it be a list of the things I hope to be: Honest. Vulnerable. Faithful. Malleable. This is the more I want!
You want to know the extra fantastic thing about all of this? I find that when I’m focusing on being the person I want to be, I naturally start doing more, too.
I start doing kind stuff for other people that I wouldn’t have taken the time for back when I focusing on doing All. The. Things. in order to accomplish X, Y, and Z.
I start listening. To God. To wise people. To that still, small voice deep in my heart.
I start rising early refreshed and energized rather than burnt out. Because no longer are my days about accomplishing tasks for some future goal. They’re about divine appointments and intentional present-tense living.
I even start reaching for dreams. But not in a desperate, “I must do everything so I can have this thing or else I will never be happy or fulfilled” way. But instead, in a “Wow, I was made to do this!” way. Writing, for instance, is no longer about reaching career milestones…but about simply being the storyteller I was meant to be and letting God shape all the rest of it.
When I focus on being the person God made me to be, I naturally start doing the things He has for me.
Which basically means the title of this blog post is kinda wrong, but I’m attached to it now so I can’t make myself change it. (Kind of like how I named a character Case once and an editor at a big publisher told me it was a dumb name, but I refused to change it because I was stubborn attached to it. And then I signed with a different publisher and they let me name all my characters whatever I wanted…including Case. Booyah!)
I don’t know, maybe I’m just playing around with words here. But I know this: I’m walking into 2017 with my heart in a new place. My once-thirsty soul is quenched as I survey the open spaces of this new year and hear God’s whisper: End of the day, all I want is you. Not the things you do. Just you.
Happy New Year, friends!
p.s. Whoa, that was a lot of introspective self-reflection. I’d love to hear YOUR New Year’s thoughts! Do you do goals or resolutions? Do you pick a word to focus on? Are you bringing any fresh perspective into 2017?
Comments 22
I really enjoyed reading your blog this morning. I have several heath issues and I discovered this way of living in an entirely different manner than you did, but it was worth it. I believe you will find 2017 to be the best year you have had in a long time. I don’t make resolutions but I do have a word for 2017 and it is devotion. This year I hope to experience a deeper devotion for my Savior . God bless you.
Author
Hi Sandy! Thanks so much for stopping by. I’m sorry to hear about your health issues, but thankful to hear it’s led to a more “being-focused” way of living for you. And “devotion”–that’s a wonderful word for a new year! I love it!
Hi Melissa,
That was a very inspirational post! I agree and loved what you said about always striving and never reaching. But when we focus on “being,” God fills us and we actually end up doing. Great words!
I have chosen to not really make a “New Years Resolution,” instead I made a goal to get my “To Be Read” pile down before I buy too many more books. I have found I keep buying books and then never read them because there’s another newer one that pops up. UGH!
You authors are fantastic and I just want to devour everything you write!
As for the word I chose for this year, it’s HOPE. Hope in God to shine through me, Hope I can be an encouragement to others, Hope that He will continue to keep Jer. 29:11 on my mind, and the goal to remember EACH day the HOPE – He brought us through His Son.
I Hope you have a fantastic New Year!
Author
Thanks so much for stopping by, Marylin. Oh man, I should probably adopt your goal to get through your TBR pile before buying more books. I just bought three books yesterday knowing full well there are sooo many on my kindle and bookshelves I haven’t yet read. Bad Melissa! 🙂
Hope is such a wonderful word…and such a wonderful reality, too! There is Hope with a capital “H” that can never be taken away, despite circumstances or emotions or anything. And I just love that.
Hi
You couldn’t of said this any better. I to want mean more to people than just doing stuff.
My word for 2017 is Savior, psalms 25:4-5 I will follow my Savour where he leads me.
2016 was Joy and by the end of 2016 I found my joy in God.
Thank you for your blog.
May God Bless you this year while we mean more to others.
Barb
Author
I love hearing about so many people’s words for the year! I don’t pick a word (simply because my brain is too ping-pongy to focus on one word for a whole year) but I do tend to have sort of a theme God impresses on my heart…at least that’s been the case the past couple years. All that to say, joy seemed to be the theme of my 2016, too!
And I love your word for 2017, too!
Whoa. So many #truthbombs dropping in your post! Love it! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I definitely needed to read your words today. I relate so much to your focus on “being” rather than “doing”. My word for 2017 is Growth. Looking forward to learning and growing—and being—in the next year.
Blessing to you, Melissa!
Author
Growth! That’s a wonderful word and a wonderful pursuit. When I think of growth, I think of how a plant or flower doesn’t just grow upward…its roots grow downward too. As we grow and mature, our roots of faith and love grow stronger, sturdier, deeper. 🙂
Oh my goodness, Melissa! So when I was in Gabon we were challenged to “be rather than do” and it has stuck with me as something to strive for (although sometimes I don’t know how good I am at “being.” Thanks so much for the reminder!!
Author
I love that, Heather! And I especially love that you were challenged in that way during a missions trip…solely because I think, at least for me, I often think of a missions trip as the ultimate “doing.” You know what I mean? Which almost sort of turns it into a me-thing. But when you’re on a trip like that and you’re challenged just to “be,” it brings everything back into focus…
Thanks so much for this post, Melissa. I think we all need to focus on who we need to be and who we are becoming. I find that much of what I do is quite meaningless in the big scheme of things. I appreciate your thoughts. Hugs!
Author
I love that you included the phrase “who we are becoming.” Because that’s really how I want to think about life…not just who I am today, but what kind of woman am I growing into? I don’t want to be stagnant. Hugs to you, too!!
Oh, I loved this post, Melissa! 🙂
I understand about the whole “doing” vs. “being” thing, cause I’ve noticed that myself. Sometimes I can feel angry at how the world is always telling people to focus on themselves so much, instead of other people. If we shift our focus to where it’s meant to be, everything else falls into place.
And that last part “End of the day, all I want is you. Not the things you do. Just you.” It really hit home to me. It makes me incredibly sad when people think God wants something of people. That they have to work to please Him. That He wants their deeds not themselves. Because it’s so TRUE – God doesn’t want the things we do, He wants US! (Sorry, speal over. Just got a little excited. ;))
Last year I had a huge list of little ‘resolutions’ but this year I don’t. 2016 was a reasonably quiet year for me – I didn’t DO so many things, but I learnt a good deal. I learnt a lot of lessons, and I’m going to be carrying them in with me to 2017. I recently turned sixteen and all of a sudden, I’m being pounded down with all these ‘big kid’ things! (You know, driving, further study, jobs, money, expectations etc.) I’ve also had some medical issues. But I’ve been astounded, even just today, at how amazing God’s timing is. There was one point where I felt like nothing was going to get done and everything was just a mess. Then slowly, one by one, the problems were fixed, things fell into place, and it became a lot more clearer. Looking back, I realized something. It’s almost as if God doesn’t want us to focus on what’s going on, but more on the fact that He’s got it all in control, and we can totally trust Him, with everything. Things are still a bit messy, and I can’t say 2017 is going to be an easy year, but I’m going in with a much clearer head, and happier mindset. And that’s enough for me. 🙂
Author
Oh I’m so happy you loved the post. And that you especially loved the part about how God just wants us…not the things we do. Because it can become so easy to slip into a mode of feeling like we need to impress God, pack our lives with all kinds of stuff that would make us look good on a spiritual resume. 🙂 But really…he wants us, he wants our hearts, he wants our minds, and he wants our trust. All the rest of it…it’s trappings. Doesn’t mean we sit around lazily doing nothing with our lives…but it does mean we stop striving to be anything other than the women he’s made us to be.
And I love how God showed up during your 2016! It’s so cool, isn’t it, to be able to look back and say, wow, God stepped in when I needed him most back then…which gives me confidence that He will again in 2017!
Oh my, Melissa! Well said. Your post resonated with me. I’ve chosen the word ‘Praise’ for 2017. Since my yearly words have always been action-oriented (Release, Quest, Purpose), this choice was the result of the Holy Spirit nudging me to stop focusing on myself and to turn back to God. I’m looking forward to the change.
Author
I love that, Anita! It is so easy to get pretty self-focused at the start of a New Year…at least, it is for me! I start thinking of all the things I want, all MY goals…to turn it back around to God, focusing on praising him, that’s so wonderful!
Melissa I just love your title, “Do less, be more”! About three years ago, I began to ask God for a word to focus on. New Years Resolutions just weren’t working for me. By focusing on a word I find that I am taking action in improving my life but without the unrealistic expectations I used to place on myself. My first word was glorify and I used fb to spread His Word and glorify His name. 2016 was a year of health issues and surgeries for my mother. Prior to her first surgery, God gave me the word “faith” and oh boy did I see how faith moved mountains in the course of my mother’s 8 month recovery. This year, He revealed the word “witness” to me and I am looking forward to 2017 being a year of tremendous growth for me! I can’t wait to see how God uses me!
Wishing you a year of tremendous blessings as you do less and be more in 2017!
Author
Hi Debra! I love your approach to the new year…your goal of being used by God. That’s so awesome. And I’m super glad to hear that you saw faith at work during your mom’s recovery. 🙂
Hi Melissa,
I love your books and I thought your blog was inspiring. I too tend to focus on work and life to the point I forget to always think of God. I don’t make New Years resolutions, but this year I want to be braver and trust God more. I want to grow in Him and not worry or be scared so much. I don’t want to stay the same anymore. I think this will be a great year and am looking forward to all that God will do this year.
Thank you for the books you write and for your blog post.
Author
HI Megan! Your desire to be braver and trust God more…oh man, can I empathize with that! I’ve had so many heart-to-heart conversations with people close to me about faith and life and how all of it seems to boil down to one thing: trust. Who do we trust? And how do we truly live out and nurture that trust? I feel like trust in God is both the starting line and the finish line for a life well-lived…both the thing that propels us forward and the thing we run toward. What a wonderful way to approach the new year!
I finally read your post, it’s been sitting in my inbox. It just shows how much I needed to read it! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts and baring your soul. Trusting God, what a novel concept. 🙂
Author
Jennifer, I’m so glad you finally got a chance to read it and that it resonated with you! I have a feeling this is a theme I’m going to need to revisit throughout the year, because it’s so easy to slip back into doing, doing, doing instead of just being and trusting. 🙂