I did it, folks. I made the switch to Facebook Timeline. Word on the street is, by the end of this week Facebook will automatically switch everyone over. So I figured, hey, why not pretend I have a choice in the matter and take the plunge on my own?
Now, I’m going to be honest: Usually I roll my eyes when people complain about Facebook changes…on Facebook. But this time, I’m very close to joining the grumpy status update bandwagon simply because my brain is so confused when I look at my new profile.
However, since God made it incredibly clear he’s not big on complaining—Israelites being swallowed up by the earth ring a bell?—I’ve decided instead to help all of us Timeline-hesitant folks deal with our online angst.
Presenting…
1) To start off with, why not talk to a war veteran? ‘Cause, you know, perspective is always good.
2) Take some time to reflect on Mark Zuckerberg’s feelings. The dude was eviscerated on the silver screen. Have some sympathy and pretend you like his latest brainwave.
3) Go on an ever-popular Facebook fast! You’ll be so happy when you come back, you won’t even mind that you have to reset your privacy settings…again.
4) Dig out your old Bop-It and play. Because, seriously, doesn’t Bop-It make everything better?
5) Remind yourself: Facebook is free. Now, if I spent money on a pair of stylish jeans and woke up tomorrow to find them morphed into stone-washed MC Hammer pants, it’d be totally appropriate to shake my head in disappointment. But Facebook? They’ve got every right to go kooky on us, peeps, because we’re not paying them a dime.
6) Read this article on ehow.com to learn how to use your Facebook Timeline. I get such a kick out of ehow. As long as you’re there, you should probably also read this article on how to eat Pixie Stix (not even joking) and this one on how to train a pet monkey. (Turns out monkeys are naturally suspicious. Who knew? The good people at ehow.com, that’s who.)
7) Sit down and make a list of all the positive changes Facebook has made through the years. For instance, remember when they got rid of the “is” after everyone’s name. Or when they added the “like” button.
8) As long as you’re in list-making mode, write down all the things you dislike about Timeline…then burn the list. Take joy in the symbolism…and the excuse to hold a mid-winter bonfire. (What, me? Enjoy fire?)
9) Visit an old MySpace page. Again, it’s all about perspective. Don’t you feel better about Facebook now?
10) Finally, at the top of your lungs, with as much gusto as you can muster, sing “I Will Survive” in the style of whichever cover version most fits your personality. Personally, I prefer Miss Piggy’s rendition:
Finally, if none of these coping mechanisms help you, if you still find yourself bedraggled and befuddled at the latest Facebook switchup, all I can do is suggest you click here and follow the instructions.
Happy Facebooking!
How do you feel about the Facebook Timeline? More importantly, isn’t Miss Piggy awesome?
Comments 14
Even though I probably only understand only 40% of the new FB Timeline (OK, 35%), I like it. I like the look of it. I know, I know … it’s probably invading my privacy terribly. I’ve rigged my settings appropriately (I hope) for that not to happen. But I like the look of the new Timeline … and I’ll get the hang of it.
Eventually.
And Miss Piggy. She’s cool. Totally loves herself and thinks she’s an “It” Girl, even though she’s a “Look at That!” um … Girl/Pig.
Happy Monday, Melissa!
I hear ya! I do like the new cover photo look – that’s nice. Gives us a chance to put a little more of “ourselves” into the page. But it’s the rest of the page that so confuses me…my eyes don’t know where to look. 🙂
Great analysis of Miss Piggy. 🙂
And…congrats on the book cover!
Once again, you crack me up. I need a good laugh to help me face this Monday morning. 😛
I haven’t switched to Timeline. It confuses me. I suppose I should have realized that Facebook would switch everyone eventually. *sigh* I guess I just feel like I don’t have the time to really learn it, but unless I take the time, my page will look like crap. (OK, complaining over….NOW)
All I can say is, Miss Piggy is something else!
Have a good Monday, Melissa!
Yeah, Mondays without laughter would not be good. 🙂 It was with much hesitance that I switched over to Timeline…the good thing was, it didn’t take much work. Just had to pick out a cover photo and everything else pretty much stayed the same. Though I DID look at my privacy settings to make sure they were where I wanted them. I guess we’ll all get used to it, huh. 🙂
I’m still a hold-out. Timeline messes me up! And I don’t have a cute enough picture to put up in the big slot. Big dilemma, I know. I have to the end of to find one, huh? Thanks for the warning:) And the perspective – you crack me up.
I don’t blame you for holding out, Susan. I may be a creative type, but I’m definitely a linear thinker…so the arrangement of Timeline makes my brain hurt. 🙂
ROFL! All such true answers. Galleycat had a great article on Friday I think about how to manage the new timeline. I bookmarked it. I’m holding out till the very end. I see that as a choice too! lol
I also dislike whining about fb on facebook…since it is free anyway. And it’s not going to change anything.
I do like the big picture in the background and the IDEA of tracing your life is cool, unless it’s pretty uneventful like mine and then it simply reads:
Jan.
Feb.
Mar.
April
May got married
June had a kid
July
and so on..Ha! Happy Monday, Tagg!
Ooh, I should check out that article – I may have switched over, but I’m not sure what to do now. Hehe…You’re right…holding out is a choice, too. Way to stay strong!!
I hear ya on the uneventful timeline!! Mine’s like, Born. College. Working. I should probably hurry up, get married and have a kid or two so I can look cool-er on Facebook! 🙂
I will go kicking and screaming into Timeline. But after your comment about the Israelites, I won’t complain. Not usually one to procrastinate, I have put this off until Tomorrow, as Scarlet said. Grat post, Melissa
“I’ll think about it tomorrow…at Tara.” Love it! Love Scarlett O’Hara – with all her faults. Love Rhett even more. 🙂 Someday, I hope to feel the same love for the Timeline thingy. 🙂
He compared girls to FARM ANIMALS!! Just kidding. I switched my profile too. I haven’t really looked around enough to see all the changes, but I know I will get used to it.
And when I do…they will change it again! Yay!
I think Zuckerberg makes all these changes to get back at the girl he lost. Let it go, Mark. Let. It. Go.
Haha, good point, Ruth! Yes, the dude was definitely not portrayed as very nice in the movie!
You’re right…just when we’re all on board with the latest change, boom, new change. If nothing else, we’ll learn to adapt, huh!
When I saw the first Timeline profile, I freaked. Why? Because I was used to the way things used to be. But I decided not to whine. Instead I spent an afternoon learning how to make the best of Timeline and ended up having much more fun than I expected. I chose to be proactive and not wait for change to come but embraced it, and that has made a huge difference in my outlook and attitude.
Thanks for stopping by, Keli! I want to learn from your outlook – embracing change, being proactive, letting it shape your outlook into something good. That’s got to be a solid mark of maturity!