Only not really. ‘Cause I want an iPhone. So, I take my current phone’s chronic illness as a sign of affirmation. I’m meant to have an iPhone. (And yes, it’s very nice here in the Land of Self-Delusion.)
Anyway, my phone’s most recent symptom is this: everything on my display screen is now appearing upside down and backwards. At this point, I need to be all sorts of dyslexic to read texts. Fun stuff.
Actually, I have a few friends who don’t text. I try to tell them what they’re missing. Over text. They don’t respond. So, I think I’ll try this…
Top Five Reasons Texting is a Must-Have Option
1) I used to work at a newspaper and once, the fire department asked me to take group photo of the whole crew. So I get to the station, and the crew has just returned from a practice drill. They start de-gearing. Then they start…de-clothing. And I have nowhere to go to escape the mass of manly shirt-shedding. Awk-ward.
So I do the only thing I know to do in such occasions. I text my friend: So…the firestation is now a locker room and I’m definitely in the wrong one!
Should I ever find myself in a similar situation, I need to know my phone will be there for me.
2) Fake smiling. I’m not a good faux grinner. But over text, when I know a smile is called for, but just haven’t had enough caffeine yet to muster the real deal, I can always count on my good friends—the colon and parentheses—to come through for me. 🙂
3) Turning down invitations. Saying, “No, I really can’t go to your cat-themed birthday party,” is really just so much easier over text. Also, no one will hear the laugh/snort.
4) Predictive text. Okay, so, predictive text is pretty much a thing of the past. But I miss the amusement of mis-guessed words on my phone’s part. I can’t tell you how many times I texted I foot know on my old phone.
5) When a small-town girl from Iowa visits Chicago, it will unnerve her when a big guy with waaaay too much jewelry says, “After you, honeycakes.” Holding the door open for her? Classy. Calling her honeycakes while fiddling with your gold chain? Slightly less classy. Slightly more creeper-ish. And she will be very thankful for the text she receives from her friend right then.
See, my non-texting friends, texting is vital. Please, join me in the 2000s. That is, once I replace my phone.
Just one thing. Please, never do this:
Comments 6
ROFLOL! Melissa, you are priceless in the videos you find. Hahaha. The look on her groom’s face….she couldn’t last the entire service without texting???
Awesome.
I’m having a hard time jumping on the iPhone bandwagon, even though I’m a Mac girl, because I’m not crazy about the touchpad keyboard.
As for #4…”Do you want to go in or marche with me?”
LOL – best text ever, Lisa!!!
And glad you enjoyed the video. Yeah, the texting during a wedding thing…I was trying to think if there’d ever be a drastic enough situation to warrant it. I came up with this: if you’re a reluctant bride in need of a getaway and you’re texting your friend with a motorcycle to come rescue you, okay. Allowed. Any other circumstance: denied.
LOL!!! Can’t. Breathe.
But predictive text is horrible on the iPhone. I’ve said all sorts of heinous things on accident. I prefer to say them on purpose!
And the same goes for twitter..ahem…you should twitter. 😉
“I’ve said all sorts of heinous things on accident. I prefer to say them on purpose!” HILARIOUS!!
Yes, I’m so on the brink of Twitter. Almost there…almost there…
Oh. My. Word.
I can’t believe she texted during her ceremony. I don’t think the groom believed it either.
And she stuffed her phone down her, um, bodice. Whoa.
What could she have texted?
“I do?”
Wait. Too early in the ceremony for that, and no indication the minister or groom had their cell phones.
“Mom, please run home and make sure I turned off the curling iron.”
OK, that’s a can’t wait emergency.
Maybe she’s a control freak and was texting the photographer: Don’t miss the kiss at the end of the ceremony. Get my best side . . .
Oh hilarious, Beth! So many possibilities. What I really want to know is what the groom was thinking…