…skip the -ly adjectives and adverbs.

Sometimes.

Yes, technically this Totally Stolen Tip should be ranked 10b or something because it follows closely on the heels of “Show, Don’t Tell.” One of the best ways to show instead of tell is to nix the -ly adjectives and adverbs. 

I like to think of it this way: -ly adjectives and adverbs can – don’t always, but can – do a nice job framing a photo. But “showing” us what those adjectives and adverbs are actually meant to describe gives us the chance to see the photo itself.

Example: She spoke quietly. 

Okay, it works. We get the drift. But how about instead: “She spoke just above a hush,” or even, “She whispered.” Simple fixes, yes. 

Here’s a better example: “She looked beautifully familiar.” Blah. (And don’t even get me started on the “was” thing. Yeah, that’s coming in a future Totally Stolen Tip.)

How about this: “Sun-streaked hair spilled over her shoulders, and those blue eyes of hers rivaled the ocean. Where had he seen her before?”

I’m in the editing stages of my Georgia story right now and -ly words are on my hit list. My routine? Spot an -ly adjective and think Strong Noun Needed!! Find an -ly adverb and think Popping Verb Required!! It can be a challenge, but it forces me to think deeper about what I’m really trying to say. An -ly adjective or adverb often feels like a shortcut when really, the reader would’ve benefited from taking the longer path.

Of course, as always, this is a “often, but not always” tip. Sometimes you do want to hurry the reader through a moment so a moment that follows stands out. Maybe that’s when an -ly adjective/adverb will do.

There ya go, quick and easy! Tip No. 3 is on the way…

*****

p.s. Remember last time when I talked about the My Little Pony I so, so, so wanted as a kid? Well, thinking about that brought back memories of another toy Childhood Melissa sooo desired…but this one I never got: a white Popple. Now, I had a Popple – a purple one. Remember those? Furry stuffed animals you could fold into a ball? Yeah, they were great. But I always had my eyes on the big white one…hmm, might it be eBay time??