Welcome to Tag(g)lines, wonderful author Kelly Irvin! I feel a kinship with Kelly in that we’ve both been reporters and worked in public relations. I so admire the wisdom she shares in her post below and I love this line: “Anything worth fighting for is worth experiencing disappointment for.”
Now, I’m so sorry there’s no video intro today. I’m crazy behind on, well, life. BUT…there’s good news: Kelly has graciously offered to give away a copy of her latest release–Heart Made New! Just leave a comment below to enter. You’ve got ’til next Tuesday.
AND…I’ll be doing a giveaway of another book on Friday, so be sure to stop back. Also, the winner of last week’s giveaway is Susan Tuttle. Susan, I’ll be in touch to get you your copy of Peter Leavell’s debut novel, Gideon’s Call.
And now…to Kelly’s awesome post!
The Upside of Disappointment
I have a vivid memory of a hot South Texas summer day when my daughter, then about six or seven, raced into the house, slammed into her room, and then raced out again, her coin purse clutched in her hand. Wondering what all the fuss was about, I followed. Purple flip flops slapping against the cement, she pounded down the sidewalk, yelling, “Stop, stop!”
The ice cream truck, tinny music blaring, refused to obey.
Finally, she slowed, halted, turned, and trudged home, her face full of disappointment. She flopped down on the curb in front of our house. I couldn’t bear it. I could feel her disappointment as if it were my own. I grabbed a popsicle from the freezer, sat next to her, and held it out. Her woebegone face brightened and the sun reappeared.
As parents, we all remember the day the realization hit us like a bulldozer in the chest that we cannot protect our children from disappointment. Not only that, we shouldn’t. Not if we want them to grow up to be people of character and resolve.
That’s the upside of disappointment. Not getting what we want, trying and failing, those are the life experiences that hone our character. We’re better for them and so are our children. As they get older, the disappointments only grow bigger and the lessons more important. Not making the volleyball team in middle school, not getting invited to the dance, the job that goes to another, the marriage proposal that doesn’t come. We watch and suffer with them.
God knows all about that. He gave us free will and the ability to make choices. He knows it’s the only way we can grow in our walk with him. He must cringe every time we make a wrong turn. He hears our prayers and knows how much we think we want that promotion, new house, a date with that guy or girl, the big raise.
He also knows what’s best for us. He knows we’ll never amount to a hill of beans if he steps in and hands us a cushy life on a silver platter.
I keep learning this lesson for myself as well as my kiddoes. My agent and I have been shopping a manuscript for more than a year now. We’ve wracked up a pretty impressive pile of rejections. Each time I’m disappointed all over again.
But I don’t give up because I love this story and I know it will touch readers. Anything worth fighting for is worth experiencing disappointment for. A good and faithful servant doesn’t give up. Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Jesus Christ. (1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)
In A Heart Made New, David experienced a terrible disappointment. He went through chemo and went into remission. He thought he was cured so he began to court the woman he loves, Annie. Six months later, he learns his disease has return.
Now he’s afraid to hope, he’s afraid to pray, he’s afraid to love. He’s afraid to step out in faith. He has to learn God expects us to do just that. We step out in faith because that’s what faith is. Faith is knowing God will be there with us on the journey and at the end, no matter what that end is. When we stumble, He picks us up, dusts us off, and give us a gentle, but firm, nudge forward.
I have this image of my Yahweh-Daddy plopping down on the curb next to me and handing me a popsicle. “Don’t be disappointed. I’m not. You tried. That’s all I ask,” He says. “You’ll get ’em next time.”
My questions for you are:
When you hear the verse, This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it, do you apply it every day or only on the “good” days. How can we learn to take disappointment and see it for what it is—a chance to persevere and be changed by adversity?
Kelly Irvin is the author of the Bliss Creek Amish series, which includes To Love and To Cherish, A Heart Made New, and Love’s Journey Home, which will debut in January 2013. She recently signed with Harvest House Publishing for a three-book spin-off series entitled the New Hope Amish. Kelly has also penned two romantic suspense novels, A Deadly Wilderness and No Child of Mine, published by Five Star Gale in 2010 and 2011.
The Kansas native is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and Sisters in Crime. A graduate of the University of Kansas School of Journalism, Kelly has been writing nonfiction professionally for thirty years, including ten years as a newspaper reporter. For more than eighteen years, she has worked in public relations for the San Antonio Parks and Recreation Department. Kelly has been married to photographer Tim Irvin for twenty-four years, and they have two young adult children. In her spare time, she likes to write short stories and read books by her favorite authors.
More about Kelly’s latest release, A Heart Made New–#2 in the Bliss Creek Amish series
In the second novel of Kelly Irvin’s Bliss Creek Amish series, readers will be delighted to return to a town and a family they’ve already come to love. Annie Shirack is trying to fight her feelings for David Plank, a young Amish man who’s struggling with an aggressive case of Hodgkin’s lymphoma. David loves Annie too much to let her into his life, only, he fears, to leave her.
When a homeless young woman named Charisma and her two-year-old daughter, Gracie, show up in Bliss Creek, Annie welcomes them into the Shirack household and tries to help them establish a new life. But all the good deeds in the world can’t change the ache in Annie’s heart…or help her forget the man she loves.
Don’t forget to leave a comment to enter the drawing for a copy of Kelly’s latest book!
Comments 39
I have been through many many disappointments in my life I have learned that I have to make them my stepping stones and not stumbling blocks .
Thank you for the contest .Blessings ,Dana ” Girl”
Thanks so much for stopping by, Dana. Stepping stones, not stumbling blocks–I like that!
Oh I do so love this post! So many nuggets of wisdom and truth to take away. I had a disappointment not too long ago and after I let it settle I told a friend, “I don’t see it as a set back, but a save. God saved me from what shouldn’t be, so when what should comes along, I’ll be free to take it.” Each disappointment strengthens my faith. I would say I do rejoice. I’ll also say, I pout and whine a tad first. 🙂
Haha, Jess, I’m the same. Eventually I can come around to rejoicing, but usually it takes a little whining first. Maybe someday I’ll be mature enough to rejoice right away. 🙂
This was an amazing post – such truth here, and such a challenge. I have learned those disappointments are easier to handle against the backdrop of His grace and truth, that He’s working everything together–even my disappointments–for His good. But I’ve never really said to myself “anything worth fighting for is worth experiencing disappointment for.” I believe I’m typing that one up:)
Great to meet you, Kelly. And Melissa – thanks for the book! What a fun way to start the day:)
The backdrop of His grace and truth–I love it. Sooo, do you prefer Kindle or hard cover for Peter’s book? I’ll go ahead and shoot you an email too…
I usually find a bright spot in disappointments. Like today. I was expecting my mom to come and visit, but she wasn’t feeling up to the 4 hour drive. Now I’m packing to go to Chattanooga for a couple of days to see her.
How fun to have a road trip! Enjoy!
a wonderful & inspirational posting, melissa…just what i needed this morning….thanks for the giveaway, too.
karenk
kmkuka at yahoo dot com
Glad it hit ya where ya needed it, Karen!
What a wonderful post!! Thank you for this today because it has reminded me that you shouldn’t “sweat the small stuff” as they say when I really needed to hear it 🙂
I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Lannette. Thanks for stopping by!
For the past year or so, I wake up each day and remind myself “This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.” Yes, as the day goes on, sometimes it’s hard to remember the “rejoicing” part of that commitment. I have to say it out loud over and over again. (Softly, so people don’t stare.)
But it’s changing my heart-attitude, that’s for certain.
This blog post was a great way to start my day. Thank you.
What a wonderful verse to start your day, Beth.
What a wonderful post. It makes a person stop and think.
I definately need to remember and apply that this is the day that
the Lord has made. I have a bad habit of letting things in life
get me down.
God Bless,
Cheryl B
CherylB1987@hotmail.com
Thanks for stopping by, Cheryl. I think we all have that habit at times. 🙂 Kelly’s post was great inspiration for finding the positives in disappointment.
Yes, thanks for a great blog post and like Melissa’s, your background seems a goldmine for much rich writing.
I’m pretty sure being a reporter is one of the best preparations for a writing career. 🙂
It is definitely difficult to think positively in the midst of rejection, but I am reminded of the verse Paul said even though he’d gone through so much, “I find in whatever state I am to be content.”
Contentment–it seems like being content is really a daily discipline. And the more I work at it, the more I really do feel at peace, even when things aren’t perfect. 🙂
Loved this, Kelly! Wow, you had me tearing up at the ice cream truck memory. Having a similar experience years ago, I could identify.
The season of waiting and wandering is so hard, but I am reminded that God sees the bigger picture where we, many times, do not.
Yes, I love that reminder, too–that God sees the bigger picture!
Excellent post, Kelly. I enjoy the good days. I grow so much more on the not-so-good. I’ve learned most of my major life lessons as a result of the tough times I’ve been through. Disappointments and adversity are tools in the Master’s hand as He shapes us into the people He wants us to be.
So many people saying such cool things in the comments today! I love your line about disappointments and adversity being tools God uses to shape us into who he wants us to be!
I love the line “anything worth fighting for is worth experiencing disappointment for!” So true. I think it’s much easier to recognize that as adults, but it’s still an important thing to teach and model for our children. Great post!
I loved that line, too, Stacy!
I’m glad this post hit home with ya’ll. I have those days too where I go around muttering to myself, “this is the day. . . “. Only it’s more a question than a statement. I love knowing we’re all in this together!
Thanks so much for being here today, Kelly! I felt badly about not having a video intro like usual…but suddenly it was late last night and I hadn’t had a chance to film it and I though, um, I will scare people if I take a video of myself looking like I do right now! Hehehe! Loved your post!
I used to only apply it to the “good” days, until I realized that THIS is the day – this one, right here, the one we’re living in. We have to deal with it, to rejoice in His mercy as we travel through it. I’ve seen my share of disappointments, but thankfully I can look back at some of them and realize God making the way for something better in my life.
Oh yes, I have had that same experience–looking back and seeing that what I thought was a disappointment was really God making way for something even better.
Wow. Just…wow.
This really, really got me: “Not getting what we want, trying and failing, those are the life experiences that hone our character.”
So if I apply that to my writing life, then God can take any disappointments I encounter and turn them into something good. He can make me more patient, more trusting in His plan for me. Courageous. Compassionate for others in the same position.
I love that idea that when something isn’t easy, we cherish it even more. And we cherish the One who gave us the perspective to go with it.
Amen to everything you said, Linds. 🙂
I’m with you in the submission shop-around wait. It’s enough to make the sanest writer go mad! I finally (at my writer friends’ urging) started another book, and it’s helping take my mind off things. Just praying God will restore my happiness and peace very soon (like Jeremiah prayed in Lamentations–great book of the Bible!).
I agree with your writer friends, Heather…better to move on and keep writing while you’re waiting than just, well, waiting. Otherwise, it’s just too nerve-wracking. 🙂
Where I really see this is looking back at relationships I had before I met my husband. I was so disappointed when they didn’t work out. Heart broken–or so I thought. Little did I know that the love of my life was out there waiting for me. I didn’t meet him until I was 30 years old, but now we’ve been married almost 25 years. God knew what he was doing! He always does. It’s been a joy to see all your comments today!
Oh, that’s such a happy story, Kelly. I love it!
What a wonderful post. It gives me a new perspective on managing my 18 month old grand daughter’s disappointments when she can’t have what she wants. We usually are quick to offer her something equally as desirable–stuffed toy, much safer than that real grumpy cat, but sometimes they need to learn that no doesn’t always have a consolation prize… 🙂
I bet it would be so hard, though, as a grandparent not to give your granddaughter what she wants–or at least something close. 🙂 Hehe…